On one hand, I want to live like Carrie Bradshaw and on the other hand, I want to backpack the world.  In short, I have a screwed-up version of happiness.

I look at my friends and their social media activity. I see their smiles and say to myself all is happy and dandy in this world. It’s a world of deceit. It’s a lifestyle that social media feeds us down our throats and many of us accept without a thought. Everyone is happy and so caught up in their lovely world of check-ins, and travelling and corporate dinner and drinks; Wearing the latest trends and perfect makeup and posing with pouts and duck-faces in seven-star properties.

Sometimes, one tends to drift into so many facets of materialism, one tends to forget that there is a world surviving perfectly without it.

Why am I rambling? Because I am sad. I feel moronic for being caught up in this maya-jaal of materialism… but I caught myself tonight…

There’s this girl I met for a minute… Last year…

At a traffic junction, my brother’s friend; a girl in her late teens.  Right now, she is in a hospital in Sweden.

I remember her. A lean, lanky girl. I remember her to be shy but smart at the same time. I remember both of us being courteous but awkward.

I remembered teasing my brother, just for the heck, and being impressed to know how smart and talented she is. She is the dreamer sort. The poetic kind, the artist, both beautiful and dark. Through my brother’s talks, her name was a common name in our household.

Yesterday, after a long time, I heard of her from him. My brother and his friend are in constant touch with her online. She is in a hospital in Sweden where her family is settled for now. She just had had a heart operation last week. She has a medical history of hypertension and coronary heart disease. I don’t know what medical terminology to use for her condition. But, simply put, her heart doesn’t function properly. She is being fed enterally. She is on heavy medication that makes her hallucinate. I tried not to think of it too much yesterday. My brother said it’s a regular, open heart operation and she’d be fine.

Today, my mom called and asked if I could talk to my brother for some time to give him company (We all stay in different cities, so we usually ‘group call’ online). He wasn’t his usual self. His friend was supposed to undergo the open-heart surgery today but the doctors confirmed that it was too much of a risk because she just underwent a heart surgery last week, and there is a further complication because her body is rejecting medication. What happens next? I don’t know. We all know what happens if your heart stops working. He doesn’t know where this will end. She said she heard her father crying. She is scared. Hell, I am scared.

We chatted for a while. We both tried to divert the topic but we were going about in circles. I told him the usual clichés about being strong and…well…

I can’t get it over my mind.

She is only 17.

I know, I know. There are people of all ages that fall sick. But, dear, why she? Why anyone, for that matter?!

Life, as it is, is difficult enough, why does she have to go through so much pain and suffering?! At 17, her counterparts’ biggest problems might be acne and boyfriend, but she is fighting a battle with death.

Here I am thinking I have a difficult life, comparing my happiness quotient with those of others, and there she is, a 17 year old, struggling to be strong.

Heck, I can’t comprehend what she must be going through. My brother said she cries at times and hallucinates at times, and appears lucid sometimes. On hearing her condition, I am in shambles. I just hope she comes out strong on the other side. I pray she recovers. I pray she be healthy.

I know this much though. A young girl in Sweden, without her knowledge, is helping me gain perspective tonight. A young girl in a faraway hospital is in my prayers these days.

Whoever reads this, if prayers and good wishes work, do pray for her and spare some of your good luck.



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